Tag Archives: The Purge

THE SUPER HITS OF THE 70’S…IN SPACE!

4 Aug

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1. Guardians of the Galaxy/Disney                           Wknd/$ 94.0    Total/$ 94.0
2. Lucy/Universal                                                         Wknd/$ 18.3     Total/$ 79.6
3. Get on Up/Universal                                               Wknd/$ 14.0     Total/$ 14.0
4. Hercules/Paramount                                               Wknd/$ 10.7    Total/$ 52.3
5. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes/Fox                     Wknd/$ 8.7      Total/$ 189.3
6. Planes: Fire & Rescue/Disney                               Wknd/$ 6.4      Total/$ 47.6
7. The Purge: Anarchy/Universal                              Wknd/$ 5.6      Total/$ 63.0
8. Sex Tape/Sony                                                          Wknd/$ 3.6      Total/$ 33.9
9. And So It Goes/CE                                                   Wknd/$ 3.3      Total/$ 10.5
10. A Most Wanted Man/RA                                      Wknd/$ 2.7      Total/$ 2.7

Source: Boxofficemojo.com

K-TEL PRESENTS…
Guardians of the Galaxy opens strong at number one continuing the Marvel track record of movies that are both successful and actually good. As someone who knows far too damn much about comics, I thought this was a big risk and probably failure for them to take such obscure characters and make a movie based on them especially when there’s absolutely no springboard from the rest of their movie stable characters. In the comics, Rocket Raccoon first appeared in an issue of The Incredible Hulk, but that’s the most unsuccessful solo movie character so far (though Thor clearly wants that title with its not-bad, but not great either movies) so it was hardly coming from him. Nope. They just went for it and whoever said “go for humor first and foremost” deserves a freaking raise. Sorry, but that person gets it like no one else. This is basically a comedy that just happens to also be a science fiction adventure and if you wonder why Disney just went along with it, know that opens with the orphaning of a child. They probably just greenlit the damn film on reflex because of that. That child is then abducted by group of space pirates, growing up to become the outlaw who’d like to be called Starlord, only the rest of the universe kinda sees him as a joke and little more than a thief. Because he tries to cut the space pirates out of the deal of what he’s stolen, they place a bounty on his head. This is why Rocket Raccoon and Groot, the sentient tree come after him. Gamora the assassin comes after him because she’s supposed to be getting the object for her father Thanos (who was the guy you saw at the end of The Avengers who backed Loki). They all get arrested and thrown into prison where they meet the fifth member of their group, Drax the Destroyer, who’s after the main bad guy, Ronan the Accuser, for murdering his family. Ronan wants the object because if he gives it to Thanos, Thanos will destroy a planet for him. Needless to say, he eventually realizes that if he has the object he doesn’t really need Thanos. Our wacky group of thieves at best and murderers at worst band together to stop him. Laughs ensue. Seriously. After the downer opening required of every hero (check your heroic fiction, not to mention your comic books), it’s non-stop humor from Starlord dancing to “Come And Get Your Love” by Redbone under the film’s title the doing an almost satirical take on Indiana Jones taking the idol in Raiders of The Lost Ark, to the last scene which also includes dancing and the music of Jackson Five. Unlike most films that shoehorn music in to sell albums, music is how Starlord (aka Peter Quill) hangs onto his memories of his mother. She made him mix tapes of her favorite music growing up and he was taken by the space pirates with his Walkman, which is why it remains a prize possession he risks his life to regain when they break out of prison. And now that I think about it, Captain America: The Winter Solider also effectively used music as prelude and a coda. Quite a step up from the first Spider-Man movie using freaking Nickelback.

BY THE WAY, THIS MOVIE BLOWS
Lucy is down to number two and also in this is Morgan Freeman…and that’s it for American actors, much less any you might know, but that’s par the course for Besson’s movies, which are made in Europe and Asia. I mean, who’d you know in The Transporter or Taken? Freeman plays the leading authority in the expansion of human brain function so Lucy makes a bee line for him after securing the rest of the drugs…and the sheer stupidity of going after those packages instead of going directly to the scientist who created it will never leave this film. Not to mention if he’s that good, he’s probably known if not infamous. Most of all it leaves an opening for a sequel no one needs, because if I hadn’t mentioned it, this movie sucks.

IT’S A LEFT HANDED COMPLIMENT FROM A DOUBLE EDGED SWORD
Get on Up, the movie biography of James Brown, opens at number three and Chadwick Boseman is in danger of falling into a gilded cage if this does okay in the end (opened well enough with $14M from a $30M budget) and becoming “THE black guy” you go to when casting a bio-pic whether or not he’s right for the role. Let me put it this way: I don’t know who should be playing Nina Simone, but I know damn well that Zoe Saldana whose skin has been darkened and is wearing a prostetheic nose is not her. You’ll know it’s a problem when he does the Michael Jackson story. I had a busy weekend, but I’m not sure this would have been on my list anyway. 1) I’m not big on bio pics and this looks as by-the-numbers as it gets and 2) I’m wary of any bio-pic that’s rated PG, especially someone like James Brown. Hell, my bio pic couldn’t be rated PG because I have a nearly pathological need to drop the “F-bomb” whenever possible. It’s part of who I am.

ONE DAY YOU’RE ALL GONNA GET WHAT YOU DESERVE…OR NOT
Hercules is down to number four and it couldn’t happen to a more deserving hack director. Truly. Though Zack Synder and Michael Bay seem unstoppable, on the bright side Brett Ratner and McG seem to be falling away. Ratner’s last hit was the third Rush Hour movie back in ’07 and while X-Men 3 wasn’t a total disaster he is seen as wrecking the franchise and his movie was literally undone by X-Men: Days of Future Past. There may be justice in the universe after all.

MEH, MEH & MEH
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes is down to number five, followed by Planes: Fire & Rescue at six and The Purge: Anarchy at number seven.

THE WORD FOR TODAY IS “BEGRUDGINGLY”
Sex Tape is down to number eight and while I’m not the biggest fan of either Cameron Diaz or Jason Segel, I will give credit where credit is due. I branded him an ugly schlub who didn’t deserve leading roles and both he and other ugly schlub Jonah Hill needed to stay with in the sidekick department. But now he’s slimmed down and gotten better looking with age. If he can stop trying to fucking write, he might actually make a decent comedic leading man…so long as the female lead isn’t too beautiful. Speaking of not being too beautiful, I have to give it up to Cameron Diaz for playing the game like the men. She’s playing a decade younger than her actual age while doing with a male lead who actually is that age. Just like all the men do…though they stretch it out to literally two decades.

IT’S JUST DECEMBER DECEMBER ROMANCES FOR YOU NOW, PAL
Speaking of men making movies with female leads decades younger, Michael Douglas is the male lead here and having to kiss Diane Keaton must have been quite a shock for him as he’s been the poster boy for inappropriate aged leading ladies for the last 20 years. It irony being, like many in Hollywood, he’s a hardcore liberal, but notice how that doesn’t apply to sexual politics, especially when it meant sharing the screen with someone with just as many wrinkles. And he can’t even blame the producer as he’s been one since One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest. It’s all him, baby.

ONE FOR THE ROAD
Finally, A Most Wanted Man holds onto the number ten spot and that’s nice for Philip Seymour Hoffman’s legacy.

 

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ROSEMARY’S BABY IS AN INDICTMENT OF THE PATRIARCHY

9 Jun

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 1. The Purge/Universal                            Wknd/$  36.4            Total/$  36.4

 2. Fast & Furious 6/Universal                 Wknd/$  19.8            Total/$202.9

 3. Now You See Me/LGF                          Wknd/$  19.5            Total/$  61.4

 4. The Internship/Fox                               Wknd?$  18.1            Total/$   18.1

 5. Epic/Fox                                                   Wknd/$  12.1            Total/$  84.2

 6. Star Trek Into Darkness/Par                Wknd/$  11.7            Total/$ 200.1

 7. After Earth/Sony                                     Wknd/$  11.0            Total/$  46.6

 8. The Hangover Pt. III/Warners             Wknd/$   7.4            Total/$ 102.4

 9. Iron Man 3/Paramount                          Wknd/$   5.8            Total/$ 394.3

10. The Great Gatsby/Warners                  Wknd/$   4.2             Total/$ 136.2

 

NOW PLAYING AT THE DEMOCRATIC CONVENTION

The Purge opens at number one and it’s funny how right wing movies tend to be action oriented films where the government can solve the world’s ills with bullets and problems are caused by certain people (women, minorities, foreigners) messing things up, while left wing movies tend be horror films where the evil usually comes as the result of the government or status quo and it’s “certain people” who save the day or at least survive (there’s more politics in zombie movies than you think).  This speaks volumes about the mindset of the two groups.  While you discuss this amongst yourselves, The Purge is decidedly left wing presenting a dystopia where prosperity is based upon once a year letting people want to go out into the streets and commit whatever crimes they can upon those still out. Of course this would mean those lacking the money and power to hide and protect themselves.  Ethan Hawke is a man who blindly parrots the virtues of the yearly purge and has become wealthy selling home security systems so basically the movie is all about his chickens coming home to roost.  I passed because as we all know—say it with me—“I don’t do the scary.”  Good or bad, I avoid it where I can.  Also politics aside, how many of these freaking “family trapped in a house” movies have come out in the last few years?  And the home invaders all seem to be master ninjas who know how to silently get past security and are fearless and nearly invulnerable to weapons.  Not to mention all seem to wear the same kind of creepy mask and have in their groups girls who are 90 pounds soaking wet with rocks in their pockets that we’re to take seriously as threats.  Am I really supposed to be scared by Muffy and Buffy and in their gossamer dresses no matter how crazy?  I think not.  And while the average family shouldn’t be masters of setting up a defense choke point in their houses, it’s logical that a man who does home security would know better than most how to deal with intruders, but if he does, then you have no movie, so he has to be the least secure home security expert on earth.

 

BEAUTY FADES

Fast & The Furious 6 is finally down to number two and we’re gonna have to take the “pretty boy” out of Paul “Pretty Boy” Walker as time has robbed him of some of that golden boy beauty.  Not helping is the fact that someone, somewhere seems to think that looking grungy works for him. It doesn’t. A little beard stubble can be sexy; a lot without a beard just makes you look homeless.  So let’s get a shave and put some highlights back in those golden locks. You don’t see Brad Pitt letting himself be gray onscreen.

 

LIKE FINE WINE APPARENTLY WORKS FOR  DUDES TOO

Now You See Me is down to number three and if we continue playing our geek game, Alfred the Butler, Lucius Fox and The Incredible Hulk are all out to catch a bunch of con artists, AKA, “What’s The Worst Superhero Team Up Ever?”  Both Woody Harrelson and Mark Ruffalo are having a bit of a career resurgence in their middle age, the former churning out Oscar worthy work on a regular basis while the latter is seeming himself in hit films for the first time ever.  Both had a moment as the mainstream male lead when they were younger but ultimately couldn’t hang onto it.  Though honestly if Indecent Proposal means being on top and I can see why Harrelson may have just stopped trying. They both seem to pay the bills by supporting today’s younger leads in mainstream work, while starring in more substantial indie projects.  Well played, gentlemen. Well played.

 

NEXT UP: REDDIT THE MOVIE

The Internship opens at number four and my schadenfreude is in full effect as I cannot stand either Luke Wilson or Vince Vaughn and them together is basically my definition of hell. No, that would be trapped in an elevator with the two of them as they let flow with their patented stream of verbal diarrhea, though this is close.   Honestly, what made them think someone wanted to see a movie about Google?  Just because The Social Network made money doesn’t mean any website can have a movie. They would have been better off making Funeral Crashers, the logical bookend sequel to Wedding Crashers.

 

NO MATTER YOU GO, THERE YOU ARE…BEING LOVED BY GEEKS

Epic holds on at number five, no doubt counting the days until Monsters University wipes it off the face of the earth, while Star Trek Into Darkness is down to number six and also in this is Buckaroo Banzai/Robocop himself, Peter Weller adding another geek cred to his tally after being the voice of Batman in the animated adaptation of The Dark Knight Returns, where his line readings were so boring I imagine he recorded them while sitting in his living room, sipping bourbon while reading the paper.  Thankfully, he’s a little more invested here.

 

IF IT MAKES YOUR FEEL BETTER, YOUR MOM WAS IN ANGEL HEART

After Earth drops to number seven and walking away from this pretty much unscathed is another second generation actor: Zoe Kravitz, the daughter of Lenny and Lisa Bonet.  She plays Will Smith’s daughter who was killed by one of the creatures while protecting Jaden who was understandably traumatized. She shows up in flashbacks throughout and can hopefully return to the X-Men franchise and put this all behind her.

 

MONEY TALKS, YOUR COMPLAINTS WALK

The Hangover III is down to number eight and despite lousy reviews and overall audience disappointment the momentum behind this film is still so strong that it’s already made $272M worldwide from a $103M budget, which means it will still be solidly profitable so director/writer Todd Phillips could give a shit what anyone thinks about this serious left turn.

 

IT’S A REWARD FOR BEING IN AN AWESOME FILM THAT TANKED

Iron Man 3 is down to number nine and also in this is Guy Pearce who at one point was rumored to be up for Daredevil before it went disastrously to Ben Affleck. On one hand, it would have been perfect casting for him to do it. On the other hand, he would have been in one of the worst superhero movies ever. Seriously, Elektra was better and Elektra was awful and something Jennifer Garner only did because of contractual obligations.  Funny how his LA Confidential co-star, Russell Crow will next be seen in Man of Steel, while his other LA Confidential costar, Kevin Spacey, was in Superman Returns and yet another LA Confidential costar, Kim Basinger, was in Batman and yet another LA Confidential co-star, Danny DeVito, was in Batman Returns and still another LA Confidential co-star, James Cromwell, was in Spider-Man 3. Oh, and he was in Count of Monte Cristo with Henry Cavill who plays Superman. Fine. It’s just funny to me, then.

 

THE END

Finally, The Great Gatsby closes out the top ten at number ten.