Tag Archives: Mr. Peabody & Sherman

SUPER MINORITY BEST FRIEND

13 Apr

falcon

1. Captain America: The Winter Soldier     Wknd/$ 41.4      Total/$ 159.0
2. Rio 2/Fox                                                      Wknd/$ 39.0     Total/$ 39.0
3. Oculus/Relativity                                        Wknd/$ 12.0      Total/$ 12.0
4. Draft Day/LG                                               Wknd/$ 9.8        Total/$ 9.8
5. Divergent/LGF                                             Wknd/$ 7.5        Total/$ 124.9
6. Noah/Paramount                                        Wknd/$ 7.5        Total/$ 84.9
7. God’s Not Dead/Free                                  Wknd/$ 5.5        Total/$ 40.7
8. The Grand Budapest Hotel/Fox               Wknd/$ 4.1        Total/$ 39.5
9. Muppets Most Wanted/Disney                Wknd/$ 2.2        Total/$ 45.7
10. Mr. Peabody & Sherman/Fox                 Wknd/$ 1.8        Total/$ 105.2

A FRANCHISE MAKES EVERYTHING OKAY
Hanging on to the number one slot is Captain America: The Winter Soldier and appearing in this one is Captain America’s modern day partner, The Falcon (as opposed to his WWII partner, Bucky), played by Anthony Mackie, who was briefly the “Hot New Thing: Minority Version” a few years back appearing alongside other Hot New Things (Shia LeBeouf, Ryan Gosling, Sam Worthington) in major studio releases, but none of them amounted to much and while his smaller, indie film work was well-received, his biggest success, The Hurt Locker, was the lowest grossing Best Picture winner Oscar history. Needless to say once it was clear he was not going to be the new Denzel or Will Smith, when Marvel came a-knocking he grabbed onto it with both hands, not hesitating to sign up for as many sequels as they wanted. This contrasts with Chris Evans who refused the Captain America role and its initial 12 movie requirement (he got them down to 9 and clearly he’s already tired of it at 3). Mackie on the other hand is trying to get into movies he’s not even supposed be in like the Avengers sequel. In the comics The Falcon is actually an unwilling Avenger, joining only as a favor to Cap because the government demands more minorities. His presence as Cap’s partner was very notable in the 60’s and 70’s for obvious reasons and he even shared the title, but as written by Stan Lee it was more than a bit homoerotic. So basically it was like every male action team in history.

BAD SCIENCE = BAD MOVIE
Rio 2 opens at number two and clearly someone pointed out to them that simply having two birds cannot recreate an entire species which was the conceit of the first film, so this one is about them discovering they are not alone and the species is in fact alive and well. Maybe if they’d included them in the first film I might have seen it because that unbelievable bit of genetic stupidity is what put me off the first one. That it was basically about a doomed species was simply too depressing for a kiddie animated film. This is too little, too late…as its box office opening suggests.

BLOODLESS SCARY IS STILL SCARY
Oculus opens at number three and as we all know I DON’T DO THE SCARY! And this looked scary in a real way, not a stupid way like most. And while that PG13 suggests a major cop out, it still wasn’t enough for me. And look to an Oculus 2 because it only cost $5M to make and opened at $12M.

SWING AND A MISS
Draft Day opens at number four and the only real surprise is that it opened this high as the only people who give a crap about draft day for real are too fat and lazy to get up out of their easy chairs to go and see it. I know Kevin Costner is on a mild comeback run right now, but he should have stuck with what works for him: baseball. His bland cornfed appeal suits that sport perfectly, but you know the only thing more boring than a football draft? A baseball draft. Actually a baseball anything.

HEY, LEO! SHE’S GOT AN OSCAR, NOW SHE’S GETTIN’ THE MONEY TOO!
Divergent is down to number five and also in this catching a free ride on the backs of the kids is Kate Winslet. Hey, she’s earned it. Maybe she’ll become to young female leads what Jon Voight and Dennis Hopper were to young male leads: a strong, older antagonist whose presence automatically elevates the film…and who makes a buttload of money for only being onscreen for 20 minutes tops.

JESUS LOVES THE LITTLE CHILDREN
Noah is down to number six and also in this are Emma Watson and Logan Lerman and if you think they were cast to try and get the kids in to see a movie about the Bible give yourself a star. Give yourself two if you’re over 30 and even know who the hell they are. But no kids not forced by their churches are going to see God’s Not Dead at number seven, so they didn’t waste their time trying to Zac Efron.

THE END
The Grand Budapest hotel is down to number eight, followed by Muppets Most Wanted at number nine and Mr. Peabody & Sherman closing out the top ten at number ten.

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THE SPRING CIVILIAN

6 Apr

gods

 

1. Captain America: The Winter Soldier            Wknd/$ 96.0            Total/$ 96.2

2. Noah/Paramount                                               Wknd/$ 17.0            Total/$ 72.3

3. Divergent/LGF                                                   Wknd/$ 13.0            Total/$ 114.3

4. God’s Not Dead/Free                                        Wknd/$   7.7             Total/$ 32.5

5. The Grand Budapest Hotel/Fox                     Wknd/$   6.3            Total/$ 33.4

6. Muppets Most Wanted/Disney                      Wknd/$   6.3            Total/$ 42.1

7. Mr. Peabody & Sherman/Fox                         Wknd/$   5.3            Total/$ 102.2

8. Sabotage/ORF                                                   Wknd/$   1.9             Total/$   8.8

9. Need for Speed/Touchstone                           Wknd/$   1.8            Total/$ 40.8

10. Non-Stop/Universal                                       Wknd/$   1.8            Total/$ 88.1

 

U-S-A! U-S-A!

Buckle up for this one, kids, because Captain America: The Winter Soldier opened at number one and Cap is a character near and dear to my heart, so I’ve got a few things to say about it. First of all, take all the great things you’ve heard and bring it down a notch. It’s not bad but it is definitely not amazing and is only just a tad smarter than your average dumb action movie. And even while its attempt for relevancy by having the debate over a surveillance state at the center of the film isn’t totally bungled, the rationalization for evil acts the for greater were argued better at the end of Good Guys Wear Black with Chuck Norris. I think that says it all when you’re not as smart as a Chuck Norris flick. The Winter Solider is one of most famous and successful storylines of the Captain America comic, but the only thing this really has in common with it is the use of the titular character, The Winter Solider (whose identity is probably known by now, but just in case I’m not going to spoil it). In the comic, The Winter Soldier is an infamous assassin used by The Red Skull as he tries to take over America from within by sowing discord and putting forth a puppet candidate for president to take advantage of it. This movie is about Captain America discovering the omnipresent SHIELD isn’t what he thought it was and the Winter Soldier plays a part in this, starting with him trying to kill Nick Fury. One of the issues he faces is a secret plan to basically monitor the world and possibly kill people just for being a potential threat. Needless to say, he’s got a problem with this, but the debates about this are laughable in their lack of any real communication or exchange of viewpoints (Samuel L. Jackson sounds so bored you half expect to see a book in his hands). It’s just “This is bad” followed by “Well, you did bad stuff too.” No one is capable of seeing the advantages of something they don’t like but still convincingly argue their points. You really shouldn’t go into the deep water if you can’t swim, guys. You’d think the first thing Nick Fury would say to Cap would be “What if someone had taken Hitler out at the beginning?” But he can’t because that would required acknowledging the horrible things Hitler did, meaning The Holocaust and like the first one this refuses to do just that, no matter how often they reference Nazi Germany. On the upside, they maintain the Marvel standard of having a solid sense of humor, much of it at the expense of Captain America (the first line from The Black Widow when she shows up to pick up Cap is “Can you tell me the way to The Smithsonian? I’m looking for a fossil.”) Also the action scenes are good, especially the hand-to-and fighting, though it comes off a little unfair, because Captain America in the movies has super-speed and strength, which he doesn’t in the comics. Until he takes on the Winter Soldier who has a robot arm, it’s not really a fair fight as he beats up guys who stand no chance against him. Overall it’s still one of the better Marvel movies and does a much better job of conveying that Captain America is just one of those people who instantly inspires confidence and leadership than the first. But remember its competition consists of the “not bad” Thor movies, the “not awful” Incredible Hulk, a surprisingly lackluster Avengers, two good Iron Man movies and one godawful one.

 

MY KID COULD BEAT YOUR KID

Noah is down to number two and speaking of superheroes this contains a triumvirate of onscreen superhero dads in Russell Crowe, Anthony Hopkins and Nick Nolte who were the fathers of Superman, Thor and The Incredible Hulk, respectively. Do you think they talked about what constituted an easy paycheck? Anthony Hopkins wins because he still picks up one every few years, while the other two died onscreen so it was a one time deal.

 

WAKE UP MAGGIE, I THINK I’VE GOT SOMETHING TO SAY TO YOU…

Divergent is down to number three and also in this is Maggie Q which reminds me that I still need to watch the final two seasons of Nikita. Or do I? Maybe it says something that I never went back? Then again I’ve got all of The Good Wife on my DVR and I know I like that. Am I really too lazy to watch TV? But back to Maggie Q. I don’t know anything about her character here or whether or not she’ll be in the sequels, but she needed to be in a hit. She comes from Hong Kong action movie like Michelle Yeoh, but like Michele Yeoh found out quickly the only roles really available in Hollywood are “hot good Asian female” or “hot bad Asian female” (which she played in Live Free or Die Hard). Michelle Yeoh just went home where she could still be a star and even produce her own stuff. Maybe Maggie will do a little better…but I doubt it.

 

IT’S NOT LIKE YOU DON’T KNOW HOW IT ENDS

God is Dead actually rises to number four, which is impressive. I guess not doing a “period” religious movie is what these people want more that simply seeing Jesus die for them…again.

 

THEY’RE ALSO USUALLY UGLY

The Grand Budapest Hotel rises to number four and you know why? Because it was all your pretentious, pseudo-intellectual friends going so they could feel superior all the people who went to see Captain America because they’d never deign to see “a comic book movie.” Basically they’re all that asshole in Annie Hall in the movie line.

 

TELL ME HOW THAT MAKES YOU FEEL…OR I WILL CRUSH YOU!

Muppets Most Wanted is down to number six followed by Mr. Peabody & Sherman at number seven and because it’s all geek references this week, Ty Burrell who is in both was in The Incredible Hulk as Dr. Samson who in the comics gets infused with The Hulk’s blood and becomes the world’s most powerful…psychiatrist. You think I’m kidding. I am not.

 

YOU KNOW IT’S WHAT I THINK THAT REALLY MATTERS, RIGHT?

Sabotage is down to number eight and given this is the worst opening of an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie since he became a star you’d think he’d be banging on the doors at Disney and Fox and Sony trying to get into a comic book movie as he’s basically been an onscreen comic book character in everything he’s ever done (Conan was a pulp novel before he was a comic book character so he doesn’t count). Also in this is Joe Manganiello who looks like a comic book character, ridiculous with muscles and towering over Arnold. He was actually up for the odious Man of Steel and while I think it’s better for him, he’s closer to how I think Superman should be.

 

IRON DADDY!

Need for Speed is still hanging around at number nine and also in this is Dominic Cooper who was Iron Man’s dad in the first Captain America movie. His role was also played by John Slattery in Iron Man 2 and you think they’re hoping for some flashbacks so they too can get on the “easy paycheck” bandwagon like Anthony Hopkins? Me too.

 

BAT DADDY!

Finally, Non-Stop closes out the top ten again at number ten. You think there’s no geek film connection here? Think again. Also in this is Linus Roache who played Thomas Wayne in Batman Begins. Yeah. Who’s your geek daddy now!?!

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NEED FOR FURIOUS

16 Mar

aaronpaulwalker

 1. Mr. Peabody & Sherman/Fox                 Wknd/$  21.2            Total/$  63.2

 2. 300: Rise of an Empire/Warner            Wknd/$  19.1            Total/$  78.3

 3. Need for Speed/Touchstone                   Wknd/$  17.8            Total/$  17.8

 4. Non-Stop/Universal                                 Wknd/$  10.6            Total/$  68.8

 5. Single Mom’s Club/LGF                          Wknd/$    8.3            Total/$    8.3

 6. The LEGO Movie/WB                              Wknd/$    7.7            Total/$ 236.9

 7. Son of God/Fox                                          Wknd/$    5.4            Total/$   50.9

 8. The Grand Budapest Hotel/Fox            Wknd/$    3.6            Total/$     3.6

 9. Frozen/Disney                                           Wknd/$    2.1            Total/$ 396.4

10. Veronica Mars/Warner                           Wknd/$    2.0            Total/$     2.0

 

MAYBE IT’S IRONIC VIEWING GIVEN THE CURRENT STATE OF GREECE?

Mr. Peabody & Sherman rises to number one because apparently the movies are still cheaper than babysitters, while 300: Rise of an Empire drops to number two because, well it blows. But you might want to prepare yourself for a third installment because this has done gangbusters overseas. Apparently half-naked men fighting for the glory of Greece has an international audience (I doubt Greece itself has enough money to have bought all those tickets). I expect it’ll be about that final battle on Platea that was beginning at the end of 300, which in fact was the final defeat of the Persian Empire in Greece.  This will allow for Sullivan Stapleton to actually return as the lead for the sequel…not that anyone would care or notice, he’s so boring (he’s more interesting as an American on Strike Force).  Apparently Scottish Greeks are much more charismatic than Australian Greeks.  You know, the more of them that we see the more apparent is it becomes that personality isn’t a given amongst actors from “down under.”  Mel Gibson, Hugh Jackman and Russell Crowe are clearly the exceptions while blander than bland actors like Stapelton, Sam Worthington, Alex O’Laughlin, Matt Passmore and Ryan Kwanten and Jai Courtney are the rule.

 

I FEEL THE NEED, THE NEED FOR A BETTER SCRIPT

Need For Speed opens at number three and the most remarkable thing about this movie is how long it too to get made in that it’s a very popular video game franchise and it’s clearly trying to cash in the Fast & The Furious Franchise with its eclectic group of multi-cultural street racers. Someone trying to make a buck on either is long overdue, much less someone trying to do both at the same time.    Now would think with all the time it had to try to this it’d be better. You’d be wrong.  The great thing about the Need For Speed games is that it decided anyone who’d attempt a street race would be set upon by cops, so you’re not just racing your opponent , but also trying to outrun the law, which is awesome fun.  This should be easiest thing to depict on film given the chase scene is a Hollywood staple, right? Wrong. And it doesn’t help that one of the first scenes in the film is set at a drive-in where they’re watching the first great car chase scene in Bullitt. Way to set the bar, morons.  Enjoy it because you won’t see another car chase for awhile and none in the Need For Speed mode until the very end and when you do the fun of out running cops in an exotic sports car is lost in the collateral damage caused. In a video game you’re not hurting anyone. You simply outrun the police. Onscreen we’re watching cops in wrecks so violent there was undoubtedly a loss of life. How am I supposed to root for the guy in a race that probably killed a cop because that cop was trying to avoid hitting that busload of children?  That the film is too long which gives you time to think on these things doesn’t help.  Rather than simply jump in to the main story which is Aaron Paul’s racing to get revenge and justice on Dominic Cooper for wrecking and killing Paul’s friend (and the younger brother of Cooper’s girlfriend) in a race, we have to see that race…and the situation which led up to it…and a dull race before that…and this is still after an expository opening scene with Michael Keaton as someone kind of internet radio host. He could have easy have summed everything up for us allowing us to start with the better part of the film which is Paul getting out of jail then trying to get cross country in less than two days to be in a race to defeat Dominic Cooper. That the movie is all kinds of dumb goes without saying.  The “big secret race” is anything but and Michael Keaton (who is also its organizer) is broadcasting it online in detail for the world to see!  Pretty sure the first rule of Secret Race Club is not to tell the world about Secret Race Club. He’s also supposed to be a mystery, yet he shows his face in his broadcasts!  Now, I know it’s dark and cynical of me to say that the Fast & Furious franchise is ripe for a competitor with the loss of Paul Walker, but it’s true.  Fortunately for them this isn’t it.

 

I AM JACK’S ANGRY TASTE

Non Stop is down to number four, followed by Tyler Perry’s Single Mom’s Club opening at number five and I’d say that this opening low was a sign that maybe Tyler Perry’s annoying run was finally showing signs of fatigue, but it probably only cost about $2 to make, so it will probably be profitable in the long run.  In an odd way this may not even count as most of his films are aimed squarely at a Black audience (like a sniper’s rifle in my opinion, hating him the way I do) while this is clearly trying to bring a wider (aka “White”) audience.  The lesson that might be sadly taken away from this I don’t even want to think about, because it’s the excuse that Hollywood uses every day to justify a lack of diversity. Why am I even thinking this much about a freaking Tyler Perry movie!?! Next!

 

YET ANOTHER THING THAT IS AWESOME

The LEGO Movie is down to number six. Hold on. Let me think of how great, original and funny this was to wipe all thoughts of Tyler Perry from my mind. Ahhhhhhh. Now it’s been out for over a month and a half now so it’s hardly a spoiler to talk about how Star Wars pops up onscreen with Han, Lando and C3Po showing up in the Millennium Falcon. It’s a great scene and Billy Dee Williams and Anthony actually do the voices of Lando and C3PO. You know Harrison Ford was too much of a grumpy old man to do Han.

 

PTTD: POST TRAUMATIC TWEE DISORDER

Son of God is down to number seven, followed by The Grand Budapest Hotel entering the top ten at number eight and one of the great things about living in a city like New York is that I can literally see films that aren’t open anywhere else in the country.  And I used to do just that. I would have been on The Grand Budapest Hotel like a dog on a bone back in my indie film watching days.  Now I just tell myself I’ll eventually get to it…which I don’t. Then I tell myself I’ll just watch it on Netflix…but I don’t do that either. Sigh. What’s wrong with me? I find time for crap like 300: Rise of an Empire and Need For Speed, but not this. I blame my times as a indie film reviewer. It killed my ability to tolerate the self-indulgence that’s so much at part of indie filmmaking. Sometimes you wish some guy in a suit would walk in and tell them “No. This is just too pretentious. Stop it!”

 

IT’S LIKE BUYING BIRTH CONTROL

Frozen is down to number nine and should be gone as the DVD is coming out, much to the chagrin of parents everywhere who have to buy and now watch it every. single. day.

 

MORONS ARE LOOSE

Veronica Mars opens at number ten and the very existence of this movie makes me so angry can barely see. In case you didn’t know, this was crowd sourced. In other words FANS FUCKING PAID FOR IT THEMSELVES SO WARNER BROTHERS COULD MAKE IT THEN CHARGE THEM ADMISSION!  Aside from setting the horrific precedent of consumers paying multi-billion dollar corporations, it has to be biggest example of the truism “a fool and his money are soon parted” ever. Jack trading the cow for magic beans shows more common sense. What’s worse is you know these same idiots are going to buy it when it comes out on DVD so they’re paying 3 times!  Sigh. But you know what? I should be grateful because as  geek myself this crap makes me now look normal. Hell, it makes all fans look normal. You people getting married in Klingon and Elvish? You’re no longer the bottom of the fan barrel.  A new low has been achieved.

THIS! IS! CRAP!

9 Mar

300

 1. 300: Rise of an Empire/Warner            Wknd/$  45.1            Total/$  45.1

 2. Mr. Peabody & Sherman/Fox                Wknd/$  32.5            Total/$  32.5

 3. Non-Stop/Universal                                 Wknd/$  15.4            Total/$  52.1

 4. The LEGO Movie/WB                             Wknd/$   11.0            Total/$ 225.0

 5. Son of God/Fox                                         Wknd/$  10.0            Total/$  41.5

 6. The Monuments Men/Sony                    Wknd/$    3.1            Total/$   70.6

 7. 3 Days To Kill/Relativity                          Wknd/$    3.1            Total/$   25.6 6.

 8. Frozen/Disney                                           Wknd/$    3.0            Total/$ 393.1

 9. 12 Years A Slave/FoxSearchlight            Wknd/$    2.2            Total/$   53.1

10. Ride Along/Universal                               Wknd/$    4.7            Total/$  123.2

 

IF THIS WERE A ROCK STAR IT’D BE DAVID COVERDALE

300: Rise of an Empire opens at number one and before seeing this, 21st Century Movie Buddy and I had a few drinks.  Now, when I say “before” I mean I smuggled a 32 oz container of hard cider with a few shots of whiskey in it into the theater. That 32 ounces was not enough tells you all you need to know. 300 was not a good movie, but it was at least fun to watch and not boring. In addition to not being good, this is not fun to watch and is mostly boring; the trifecta of suck.  In a weird way this almost validates crap filmmakers like Michael Bay and Zack Synder much in the same way the $50M attempted makeover of Jessica Simpson into a dance pop princess validated Brittney Spears: it’s harder than it looks (it ended Tommy Mottola’s tenure at Sony). No, it’s not art but some kind of effective skill is clearly needed.  Needless to say director Noam Murro lacks these skills. Yes, he’s hobbled by Zack Synder still writing and producing, but his previous effort was a talking head movie with Sarah Jessica Parker and Dennis Quaid called Smart People and that wasn’t much good either, so his skills are questionable in any arena.  In actual history while Leonidas and the 300 (not to mention twice the number of slaves and additional Greeks, so the number was closer to 5,000) were fighting on land, there was another war being waged at sea by Themistocles, which he won. While Athens itself actually burned, the people themselves had been evacuated, the culture survived and the Persians were finally stopped a year later in the battle that’s about to start at the end of 300. This was supposedly going to be that story…except it’s not.  It’s so desperate to tie itself to 300, it forgets to be its own film (they even open like the first with a narration telling you that the hero of the story is the person who partially caused the trouble and it is equally erroneous).  Basically every actor from 300 they could get to make an appearance is here. Xerxes, the queen, the guy who was sent back, the emissary who was thrown into the pit, even the hunchback.  Sadly, all played by the original actors whom you think would have moved on to better things and been able to say no. Even Lena Headey who has enjoyed a bump thanks to Game of Thrones is here (then again, she’s in the middle of a messy divorce and probably needed the cash).  Even the physiques of the male actors, for which the first film is most famous, is inferior. They couldn’t even get a trainer as good as the first. Now that’s just sad.

 

THIS TRICK NEVER WORKS

Mr. Peabody and Sherman opens at number two and while I hold a special place in my heart for these characters and was considering seeing it I ultimately gave it a pass because as part of the Jay Ward universe of Rocky & Bullwinkle and George of the Jungle the heart of the humor was the self-aware satire.  They mocked their cheap animation as world much as they were part of it.  This a $145M CGI feature. Not much to mock there.  Well, actually there’s a lot to mock about spending $145M on a near 50-year-old cartoon that wasn’t even title character (it was part of The Rocky & Bullwinkle Show), but the trailer shows they aren’t even trying. This kind of misses the point to me, but I will watch when it shows up on cable next year.

 

BABY, SHE’S A STAR

Non Stop is down to number three and shouldn’t they be broadcasting that it also stars Academy Award winner Lupita Nyong’o?  Strike the iron while it’s hot, kids. In fact, between Liam Neeson, Julianne Moore and Lupita, there’s a boatload of all kinds of nominations and awards…and more people will see this than any of those films that earned them.  Same for Liam Neeson’s other film on this top ten, The Lego Movie, now down to number four. Real talk.

 

TEACH YOUR CHILDREN WELL

Son of God is down to number five, followed by The Monuments Men at number six and Three Days to Kill at number seven and also in this is Academy Award nominee Hailee Steinfeld who is learning as Liam Neeson and Julianne Moore have that nominations are nice, but they pay for jack shit.  Gotta do the popcorn movies too. Though hopefully better ones than this. Liam Neeson will always need someone to play his kids that are threatened so he can whoop some ass.

 

LEMONS FROM LEMONADE

Surprisingly Frozen got no Oscar bump from wining Best Animated Film. I’m sure the fact that the Academy utterly screwed up Idina Menzel’s performance didn’t help her.  Not only did they rush her, but also a verse was clearly cut.  The Roots did better with children’s instruments on The Tonight Show. Fortunately for her that was all overlooked thanks to John Travolta screwing up her name, which actually put her name on everyone’s lips the next day.

 

LIKE A WELL-MADE VEGETARIAN DISH; GOOD FOR YOU TO EAT, BUT YOU ‘D PREFER NOT TO MAKE A HABIT OF IT

12 Years a Slave did get a bounce for its Oscar wins back into the top ten at number nine. Now I said when it came out this was the type of film I’d probably see only if it got Oscars nominations and even then only on the day of.  That’s how I did Schindler’s List and this was the same. It’s good. It’s very good, but it’s difficult to watch for reasons you might expect. Accurate depictions of slave conditions will never be G-rated or for the weak of stomach and sadly, many of the things that transpire were taken directly from the book written by Solomon Northrup. I can’t really fault anyone for wanting to take a pass for that very reason, though like Schindler’s List when it’ s this good it’s something you need to do…and then you have a built-in excuse not to see any others.

 

MUCH LIKE THAT COFFEE, PEOPLE COMPLAIN, BUT THEY KEEP BUYING

Finally, Ride Along hangs on like a freaking barnacle. I blame the endless winter.  Cabin fever forces people to leave their homes, but the cold means they have to find another place to keep warm.  And it’s cheaper than Starbucks.

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