Tag Archives: Matthew McConaughey

SOUNDS LIKE THE TITLE OF A TOO MODEST PORN FILM

9 Nov

sunfire___big_hero_6_1

1. Big Hero 6/Disney                                      Wknd/$ 56.2     Total/$ 56.2
2. Interstellar/Paramount                             Wknd/$ 50.0    Total/$ 52.2
3. Gone Girl/Fox                                             Wknd/$ 6.1         Total/$ 145.4
4. Quija/Universal                                          Wknd/$ 6.0        Total/$ 43.5
5. St. Vincent/Weinstein                               Wknd/$ 5.7         Total/$ 27.4
6. Nightcrawler/ORF                                      Wknd/$ 5.5        Total/$ 19.8
7. Fury/Sony                                                     Wknd/$ 5.5        Total/$ 69.3
8. John Wick/LG-S                                         Wknd/$ 4.0        Total/$ 34.7
9. Alexander & The Terrible…/Disney        Wknd/$ 3.5        Total/$ 59.2
10. The Book of Life/Fox                               Wknd/$ 2.8        Total/$ 45.2

SOMEWHERE FOX LAWYERS READ THE FINE PRINT…
Big Hero 6 opens at number one and this is loosely based on a Marvel comic book (though this is not a Marvel Production, though they are owned by Disney), which I never read, believe it or not. One very ironic reason is that it was actually called “Sunfire & Big Hero Six” Sunfire being a Japanese mutant who often interacts with The X-Men. Also one of the members of Big Hero 6 was the Silver Samurai who often clashes with Wolverine. It’s ironic because these characters are among those Marvel can’t get back to the point they’re changing the comics as a result. Needless to say, he’s not here and there’s no counterpart for him, though there is for Silver Samurai. Big Hero Six was a Japanese superhero team and that’s also gone. Now the setting is a gorgeous futuristic city called San Fransokyo, clearly a mesh of San Francisco and Tokyo (with maybe some Hong Kong thrown in) where teen genius Hiro Hamada takes the robotic nurse created by his late brother to seek the man responsible for his brother’s death who has also stolen Hiro mirobot technology. His brother’s fellow students eventually join with Hiro to become Big Hero 6. The movie takes a bit to get started and honestly creates a world more interesting to me than the actual story. Not to mention they double up on the tragedy to the point where it becomes near impossible to believe that Hiro’s not going to be utterly damaged. Hiro and his brother are already orphans being raised by their aunt when Hiro sees his brother die in a fire. His desire to kill the man responsible rings true, but what doesn’t is pretty much any smile afterwards. Both the movie and the character would have been better served if his brother had more vanished than actually died to believe that hope could still exist for Hiro. I mean, even Batman only had to bury his parents. Fortunately, Hiro really isn’t the star of the film. It’s the gentle robot, Baymax, who looks like a giant marshmallow that and Disney clearly knew it given he’s got the poster to himself. You can almost believe that under his care Hiro could heal in a way that the film needs to accept his journey. Not helping matters is a fairly weak and underdeveloped villain and everyone knows your heroes are only as good as your bad guy is bad, but Baymax almost makes up for all of it.

LOST IN SPACE
Interstellar opens at number two and honestly, my hopes were not high for this when I saw the writing credits belonging to the two Nolan Brothers. With the exception of the ninety minute Memento, every film they’ve ever made could have and probably should have been cut by twenty minutes and sadly this is no exception. While I do prefer a shorter film, I’m not an enemy to a long one.. I’ve got no problem settling in and letting big film envelope me like a warm blanket so long as it uses its time to do just that and totally immerse me in the world it creates, but that doesn’t happen here. We get hints at a dystopic future where all wars are over as mankind is engaged in a struggle to survive on a fatally damaged Earth as one by one every major crop is dying off and dust storms are starting in on the humans. Farming is encouraged as an occupation and children are taught that we never went to the moon as space travel is considered a waste of resources. The latter apparently happened in McConughey’s lifetime as he was a pilot with NASA. Not sure how that’s even possible, but okay. Also, NASA is now an organization that’s been operating in secret for over a decade exploring space to find mankind a new home thanks to a wormhole that has appeared next to Saturn, openly acknowledged to be the work of an intelligent race. So, if they can create a wormhole, why the hell put it next to Saturn, which takes two years to get to? No one ever asks. Once through the wormhole they are to determine which if any the only three worlds that actually had mission survivors (out of 12 manned missions) can become a new home for mankind. Meanwhile, back on Earth, thanks to the relativity of time near a black hole, McConughey’s daughter has become a scientist in her own right, helping with Plan B, which is to build a space station to relocate humanity. Of course things go wrong on both ends to build drama and tension, but as always Nolan stretches the tension to the point where it simply snaps and you don’t much care how it resolves itself, so long as it ends. Remember seeming endless shots of people falling backwards and a falling van in Inception? Well take that and make it even longer. Not to mention if you’ve watched enough science fiction you know immediately the secret behind the first “mystery” introduced in the film and once the film finally reveals it, not only is there no new spin put on it, but it also goes on far too long. Even the much vaunted visuals failed to impress and I went out of my way to see it in 70mm…and something happened to the film in the last 10 minutes. So much for that format making a comeback.

A TORCH VERY HAPPILY PASSED
Gone Girl actually rises to number three and this is what we call “having legs” as we not only enter its sixth week, but a jump back up. Why? Well, let’s face it: it’s an adult movie about adults, while Big Hero 6 is aimed squarely at kids and there are adults who flatly regard all science fiction as silly and won’t watch. This is where they were while kids were in Big Hero 6 and teenagers were in Interstellar. And did we discuss that also in this was the “Blurred Lines” girl, Emily Ratajkowski? She’s the new Megan Fox. That is, someone whose natural features are so exaggerated she looks like the drawing of a girl come to life. And while these people look great “playing their roles” (usually in print) they look almost freakish playing “normal” as she does in the film. There’s a similar problem with one of the male leads on Jane the Virgin. He’s clearly good looking, but looks oddly freakish as well walking around and talking.

ONE DAY YOU COULD BE A FULL OF SHIT SUPERSTAR
Quija is down to number four and this cast is filled with unknowns so there’s not much to talk about, but remember the original Nightmare on Elm Street also had a cast filled with unknowns, one of whom was Johnny Depp, so hang in there kids! Paying your dues in crappy, low budget horror films is a time-honored tradition. Shhh! I’m trying to give these kids hope!

ACTORS PEOPLE ACTUALLY LIKE ARE IN THIS?
St. Vincent is down to number five, followed by Nightcrawler at number six and did you know that Rene Russo was in this or that her character is helping the career of Jake Gyllenhaal’s character? Of course not. Seriously, the ad campaign for this needs a do-over.

AND YOU WILL KNOW THEM BY THE TRAIL OF MEDIOCRE TO AWFUL WORK
Fury is down to number seven and this comes from David Ayer the writer and director of wannabe gritty LA crime dramas like End of Watch and Harsh times and the writer of Training Day, Dark Blue, SWAT and Fast & The Furious. He also wrote and directed the god-awful Sabotage, which did just that to Arnold Schwarzenegger’s comeback attempt. This resume makes me more than glad I gave this a pass.

THE A LITTLE GOES A LONG WAY SQUAD
John Wick is down to number eight and as I mentioned what helps this film are the many character actors in small supporting roles such as Lance Reddick, Ian McShane (who improves anything), John Leguizamo (who can ruin anything if you let him, but they don’t let him) Dean Winters and Willem Dafoe as a hitman buddy and David Patrick Kelly as the undertaker of the underworld who seems to enjoy his work a bit too much. You know him from his immortal line from The Warriors, “War-ri-ors, come out to pla-ay…” Yeah, that guy.

GEEKS, ALWAYS LIKING WEIRD STUFF
Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day is down to number nine and The Book of Life closes out the top ten at number ten. After this week it it will undoubtedly go on to a live a cult classic by geeks who insist it was great and the rest of us simply didn’t give it a chance. They’ll be half right.

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I STILL DON’T CARE

24 Nov

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1. The Hunger Games 2/LGF                   Wknd/$ 161.1            Total/$ 161.1

 2. Thor: The Dark World/BV                  Wknd/$  14.1            Total/$ 167.8

 3. The Best Man Holiday/Universal      Wknd/$  12.5            Total/$  50.4

 4. Delivery Man/BV                                   Wknd/$    8.2            Total/$     8.2

 5. Free Birds/Relativity                             Wknd/$    5.3            Total/$  48.6

 6. Last Vegas/CBS                                       Wknd/$    4.4            Total/$  53.9

 7. Bad Grandpa/Paramount                      Wknd/$    3.5            Total/$  95.5

 8. Gravity/Warners                                     Wknd/$    3.3            Total/$ 245.5

 9. 12 Years A Slave                                       Wknd/$    2.8            Total/$   29.4

10. Dallas Buyers Club/Focus                    Wknd/$    2.8            Total/$    6.5

 

THE RUNNING GIRL

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire opens at number one breaking a record and like Twilight before it and Harry Potter before that this is something that has gone right past me. Know why? BECAUSE I’M AN ADULT AND I DON’T READ CHILDREN’S BOOKS  THAT’S WHY! Well, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Just don’t ask me what adult books I’m reading. And honestly, I just have a problem where children are forced to fight children to the death.  Somewhere down the line I’ve just gotten squeamish about certain things and watching children die onscreen is one of them. Yes, I know. This time around it’s full-grown adults fighting (which is one of the oldest tropes in and out of science fiction), but I still can’t get with it.  The taint remains.

 

TWO SMART GIRLS

Thor: The Dark World drops to number two and if you’re saving that episode of Agents of SHIELD to watch until you see this, don’t bother. It has almost nothing to do with the movie.  Seriously.  It’s just a carrot to draw you into that incredibly lackluster series.  Speaking of lackluster series, how happy is Kat Dennings for these movies?  Every two years she’s gets to be in a blockbuster film and this time around actually joins Tom Hiddleston in “Steal The Movie” club which should bump her up in a way Two Broke Girls never could. As Hiddleston stole Thor from Thor, Darcy steals the movie from Natalie Portman’s Jane Foster, Thor’s mortal love interest. She’s clearly the more interesting of the two and between her and overlooking Sif, Thor’s taste in women is seriously in question.

 

ANOTHER BRIDESMAID

The Best Man Holiday is down to number three and with the entire original cast returning also in this is Nia Long who, quite honestly, was Kerry Washington before Kerry Washington as the potential heir to Halle Berry’s throne (as we know, Hollywood and only have one A-list minority lead at a time).  The difference being Kerry Washington had the A-list films (Ray, Django Unchained) and now hit TV series (Scandal), whereas Nia Long peaked in Big Momma’s House and Third Watch.  Ouch.

 

MONEY NO MORE

The Delivery Man opens at number four (the lower budget makes this not as bad as you think) and this is a remake of a French film that just came out last year and even I was shocked at how quickly Hollywood remade it.  It’s a cute enough premise, but they should have found a different leading man, because Vince Vaughn and his motormouth routine gets old fast.  In fact it’s been old for a long time now and this is coming from someone who was a huge fan after Swingers and followed his indie career in things like Clay Pigeons, Return to Paradise and yes, even the shot-for-shot remake of Psycho so my bitterness is earned, baby.  Someone a little more charming and little less annoying would have served this film well.  And better looking. Seriously. It matters.

 

THE TURKEY YOU’RE HAPPY TO KILL

Speaking of annoying onscreen motormouths, Owen Wilson is one of the voices in Free Birds, down to number five and the only thing worse than Owen Wilson is just his voice, I don’t care what cute animal you put up there onscreen.

 

BAD GRANDMA?

Last Vegas is down to number six, followed by Jackass Presents Bad Grandpa at number seven and given how well this has done prepare yourself for an onslaught of low budget prankster films. Okay, maybe not an onslaught, but there will definitely be more of them coming.

 

TRAUMATIC ISN’T THE WORD FOR IT

Gravity is down to number eight, followed by 12 Years a Slave down to number nine and some people have issues with seeing their favorite stars as evil slave owners. I don’t want to hear it. Roots had everyone in Hollywood owning slaves and you don’t know from difficult until you’ve seen Mr. Brady own slaves or Sandy Duncan toss around the “n-word.”

 

THE MANY FACES OF MATTHEW

Finally entering the top ten at ten is more Oscar bait in the form of Dallas Buyer’s Club, continuing the Matthew McConaughey renaissance.  Apparently somewhere down the line he tired of merely being a parody of himself and decided to be a more serious version of himself, because lets face it: he’s always playing Matthew McConaughey. He’s not Daniel Day Lewis and can disappear into any role.  He can only be a more somber McConaughey (like in the surprise hit, Mud), a more straight-laced McConaughey (The Lincoln Lawyer and Bernie) a more psychotic McConaughey (Killer Joe) or a more sleazy McConaughey (Magic Mike, which I honestly thought he deserved a Best Supporting nomination for). But it’s always McConaughey.

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