Tag Archives: Dallas Buyers Club

DISNEY’S LITTLE MAN IN A BOAT

8 Dec

wonderwomen

 1. Frozen/Disney                                          Wknd/$  31.6            Total/$ 134.3

 2. The Hunger Games 2/LGF                    Wknd/$  27.0            Total/$ 336.7

 3. Out of the Furnace/Relativity               Wknd/$    5.3            Total/$     5.3

 4. Thor: The Dark World/BV                     Wknd/$    4.7            Total/$ 193.6

 5. Delivery Man/BV                                     Wknd/$    3.8            Total/$   24.8

 6. Homefront/ORF                                       Wknd/$    3.4            Total/$   15.3

 7. The Book Thief/Fox                                 Wknd/$    2.7             Total/$   12.1

 8. The Best Man Holiday/Universal         Wknd/$    2.7            Total/$  67.2

 9. Philomena/Weinstein                              Wknd/$    2.3           Total/$     8.3

10. Dallas Buyers Club/Focus                      Wknd/$    1.5           Total/$     1.5

 

IT’S LIKE THAT DREAM OF HOT DOG AND DONUTS YOU HAD WASN’T ABOUT FOOD

Frozen takes over the top spot and in thinking of it more and the big “Let It Go” song in the film—which will no doubted be nominated for an Oscar because I cannot honestly remember another son associated with a film this year—the more I feel this is a metaphor for a young girl’s developing sexuality.  Seriously.  She’s about 12 or 13 when the accident with her sister occurs, which is the appropriate age. And she has no problem controlling her powers (i.e. her sexuality) until her father freaks out about it, making her feel anxious and guilty and telling her she has to lock that thing up (he put special gloves on her aka, chastity belt). Later when it explodes at an inopportune as repressed sexuality tends to do, the reaction of an old man is “She’s evil!”  which is sadly not new when it comes to a woman’s sexuality.  Also when she just lets go and truly explores and revels in her power, her clothes become more revealing and there’s more wiggle to that hip.  And the big resolution? That her power can only be controlled with love, the ultimate device used to control a woman’s sexuality. Just forget you had complete control until your dad made you freak out about it thanks to an accident that was a result of your little sister’s recklessness, not yours.

 

ONLY PERSON LUCKIER? HER HUSBAND.

The Hunger Games Catching Fire is down to number two and also in this is Elizabeth Banks who has a knack for picking the right franchises as she was the underused Betty Brant in the first Spider-Man trilogy (geeks like me know she was Peter Parker’s first love until her lowlife brother got himself killed and she blamed Spider-Man for it).  Now she’s got this.  Won’t be a bit surprised if she turns up in the new Star Wars films.

 

ONCE BITTEN TWICE SHY

Out of the Furnace opens at number three and not seeing this is a major fail on my part because there’s nothing unappealing about this film. Talented actors in a film that looks like a nice drama you sit down and sink yourself into. Of course the last time I thought was the film Prisoners and look how that turned out. Yeah, only $5M looks a little disappointing, but it only cost $22M to make and is Oscar bait for Christian Bale and Woody Harrelson (who seemingly get nominated every year for a film you’ve never heard of), though not as “prestige” as something Tom Hanks is in. That means it’s not really meant to make money until it gets nominated for something.

 

IT’S NO WONDER WHY YOU’RE NOT THE WOMAN

Thor: The Dark World is down to number four, followed by Delivery Man actually rising to number five and what do these two films have in common? WASPy brunettes who might have been Wonder Woman.  Jaimie Alexander is the Norse warrior goddess Sif (she wasn’t a warrior in the actual legends, not to mention famous for her blonde hair) in both Thor films and because studio execs and fans alike have no imagination, it was thought she’d be perfect for Wonder Woman. She was also vocal about wanting the role and said she’d been meeting with Warner Brothers, which may have been her undoing.  In Delivery Man is Colbie Smulders, who was the choice of none other than Joss Whedon to be Wonder Woman back when he was on the project. I don’t think Gal Gadot is perfect, but that she’s not whitest woman on earth (she’s Israeli) to play a GREEK is a step in the right direction.  People who complain about her being skinny are morons. Last I heard gaining weight was not something humans have a problem doing. The only question is will they put actual muscle on her and not be afraid of it being somehow “unfeminine.”

 

WINO IS FOREVER IT SEEMS

Homefront is down to number six and also in this is Winona Ryder. No, I’m serious!   But I’m as surprised as you are. No matter how many times she shows up in a film (she actually does one or two a year) it’s always a bit of a shock because I think she retired to run a goat farm somewhere. Or a small music label so she can pursue her favorite hobby: young musicians.

 

WELCOME TO THE CINEMATIC THUNDERDOME!

The Book Thief holds at number seven, followed by The Best Man Holiday at eight and I’m not going to say there’s a battle of “black Christmas films” (there is) but if there were (there is), then this won and I’m glad that a depiction of successful Black people defeated Black people singing about Jesus. Bring it, Madea!

 

YOU DO KNOW THEY DON’T HIRE REAL KINGS TO PLAY LEAR, RIGHT?

Philomena is down to number nine followed by Dallas Buyers Club reentering the top ten at number ten and apparently people need something to be upset over because it’s a problem for some that an actor (Jared Leto, who’s getting Oscar talk) played a transsexual rather than hiring a real transsexual actor. You wish I were joking. The cherry on top of this little piece of insanity? While this is based on a true story, that character IS FICTIONAL!  Zeus give me strength…

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I STILL DON’T CARE

24 Nov

nia-long-naked-peta

1. The Hunger Games 2/LGF                   Wknd/$ 161.1            Total/$ 161.1

 2. Thor: The Dark World/BV                  Wknd/$  14.1            Total/$ 167.8

 3. The Best Man Holiday/Universal      Wknd/$  12.5            Total/$  50.4

 4. Delivery Man/BV                                   Wknd/$    8.2            Total/$     8.2

 5. Free Birds/Relativity                             Wknd/$    5.3            Total/$  48.6

 6. Last Vegas/CBS                                       Wknd/$    4.4            Total/$  53.9

 7. Bad Grandpa/Paramount                      Wknd/$    3.5            Total/$  95.5

 8. Gravity/Warners                                     Wknd/$    3.3            Total/$ 245.5

 9. 12 Years A Slave                                       Wknd/$    2.8            Total/$   29.4

10. Dallas Buyers Club/Focus                    Wknd/$    2.8            Total/$    6.5

 

THE RUNNING GIRL

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire opens at number one breaking a record and like Twilight before it and Harry Potter before that this is something that has gone right past me. Know why? BECAUSE I’M AN ADULT AND I DON’T READ CHILDREN’S BOOKS  THAT’S WHY! Well, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Just don’t ask me what adult books I’m reading. And honestly, I just have a problem where children are forced to fight children to the death.  Somewhere down the line I’ve just gotten squeamish about certain things and watching children die onscreen is one of them. Yes, I know. This time around it’s full-grown adults fighting (which is one of the oldest tropes in and out of science fiction), but I still can’t get with it.  The taint remains.

 

TWO SMART GIRLS

Thor: The Dark World drops to number two and if you’re saving that episode of Agents of SHIELD to watch until you see this, don’t bother. It has almost nothing to do with the movie.  Seriously.  It’s just a carrot to draw you into that incredibly lackluster series.  Speaking of lackluster series, how happy is Kat Dennings for these movies?  Every two years she’s gets to be in a blockbuster film and this time around actually joins Tom Hiddleston in “Steal The Movie” club which should bump her up in a way Two Broke Girls never could. As Hiddleston stole Thor from Thor, Darcy steals the movie from Natalie Portman’s Jane Foster, Thor’s mortal love interest. She’s clearly the more interesting of the two and between her and overlooking Sif, Thor’s taste in women is seriously in question.

 

ANOTHER BRIDESMAID

The Best Man Holiday is down to number three and with the entire original cast returning also in this is Nia Long who, quite honestly, was Kerry Washington before Kerry Washington as the potential heir to Halle Berry’s throne (as we know, Hollywood and only have one A-list minority lead at a time).  The difference being Kerry Washington had the A-list films (Ray, Django Unchained) and now hit TV series (Scandal), whereas Nia Long peaked in Big Momma’s House and Third Watch.  Ouch.

 

MONEY NO MORE

The Delivery Man opens at number four (the lower budget makes this not as bad as you think) and this is a remake of a French film that just came out last year and even I was shocked at how quickly Hollywood remade it.  It’s a cute enough premise, but they should have found a different leading man, because Vince Vaughn and his motormouth routine gets old fast.  In fact it’s been old for a long time now and this is coming from someone who was a huge fan after Swingers and followed his indie career in things like Clay Pigeons, Return to Paradise and yes, even the shot-for-shot remake of Psycho so my bitterness is earned, baby.  Someone a little more charming and little less annoying would have served this film well.  And better looking. Seriously. It matters.

 

THE TURKEY YOU’RE HAPPY TO KILL

Speaking of annoying onscreen motormouths, Owen Wilson is one of the voices in Free Birds, down to number five and the only thing worse than Owen Wilson is just his voice, I don’t care what cute animal you put up there onscreen.

 

BAD GRANDMA?

Last Vegas is down to number six, followed by Jackass Presents Bad Grandpa at number seven and given how well this has done prepare yourself for an onslaught of low budget prankster films. Okay, maybe not an onslaught, but there will definitely be more of them coming.

 

TRAUMATIC ISN’T THE WORD FOR IT

Gravity is down to number eight, followed by 12 Years a Slave down to number nine and some people have issues with seeing their favorite stars as evil slave owners. I don’t want to hear it. Roots had everyone in Hollywood owning slaves and you don’t know from difficult until you’ve seen Mr. Brady own slaves or Sandy Duncan toss around the “n-word.”

 

THE MANY FACES OF MATTHEW

Finally entering the top ten at ten is more Oscar bait in the form of Dallas Buyer’s Club, continuing the Matthew McConaughey renaissance.  Apparently somewhere down the line he tired of merely being a parody of himself and decided to be a more serious version of himself, because lets face it: he’s always playing Matthew McConaughey. He’s not Daniel Day Lewis and can disappear into any role.  He can only be a more somber McConaughey (like in the surprise hit, Mud), a more straight-laced McConaughey (The Lincoln Lawyer and Bernie) a more psychotic McConaughey (Killer Joe) or a more sleazy McConaughey (Magic Mike, which I honestly thought he deserved a Best Supporting nomination for). But it’s always McConaughey.

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