THE OSCAR EDITION

23 Feb

50shades
1. Fifty Shades of Grey/ Universal            Wknd/$ 85.0   Total/$ 85.0
2. Kingsman: The Secret Service/Fox      Wknd/$ 36.2   Total/$ 36.2
3. The SpongeBob Movie/Par                    Wknd/$ 31.7    Total/$ 94.8
4. McFarland, USA/Disney                        Wknd/$ 11.3    Total/$ 11.3
5. The Duff/LionsGate                                Wknd/$ 11.0    Total/$ 11.0
6. American Sniper/Warner                      Wknd/$ 9.7      Total/$ 319.6
7. Hot Tub Time Machine 2/Par               Wknd/$ 5.8      Total/$ 5.8
8. Jupiter Ascending/Warner                   Wknd/$ 2.6      Total/$ 83.9
9. The Imitation Game/Weinstein           Wknd/$ 2.6      Total/$ 83.9
10. Paddington/Weinstein                         Wknd/$ 2.3      Total/$ 67.7

IT’S IN THE BLOOD
Fifty Shades of Grey holds the number one spot so bad reviews be damned! The best thing about this film is appropriately enough its leading lady, Dakota Johnson, daughter of Don Johnson and Best Actress Nominee, Melanie Griffith and granddaughter of Tippi Hedren. But it’s more than nepotism. The career graveyard is filled with the children of the famous (do I have to bring up Oscar winner Kirk Douglas’ other son again?). It takes more and she’s got it. Based on a bad book, a screenplay that does little to improve it and a leading man focused on struggling with his accent than anything else, she does what she can to make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear and the fact she does as well as she does speaks volumes. In fact, it makes her look even more astonishing by comparison. Sometimes it’s better to be the best thing in a bad movie than the weakest thing in a good one. Doing this film was a smart move for her and passing on it was probably a mistake for Stephen Amell and Charlie Hunnam. Well, maybe no Hunnam as he’d still have accent problems, but from what I’ve been told, Amell is basically playing Christian Grey every week on Arrow.

SHOW HIM THE POUNDS!
Kingsman: The Secret Service holds onto the number two spot and as the preeminent Kingsman is Oscar winner for Best Actor, Colin Firth, in his first action movie, which is par the course for Oscar winners. Once you get the golden statue, you go get the real gold. We can call it the “Nicholas Cage effect.” He was all indie boy until winning Best Actor and he’s been a whore ever since.

WE’LL SEE WHAT STICKS
The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water holds at number three followed by McFarland USA opening at number four and apparently there’s a film from Oscar Winning Director, Kevin Costner coming out every week now so if you don’t like the one last week, maybe you’ll like the one next week. But I sincerely doubt it.

NO OSCAR MENTIONS HERE
The Duff opens at number five and you know you’re getting old when you’re no longer interested in every high school movie that comes down the pike because you simply can’t relate any longer. Even when it’s Pygmalion story done again, you give it a pass. For example: you saw Can’t Buy Me Love and She’s All that, but you passed on Love Don’t Cost A Thing (the Can’t Buy Me Love remake) and this, which actually dares have an “Eliza” who’s not just traditionally pretty girl dressed down and in glasses like, well all the others.

IT’S BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE SAY ANYTHING
Oscar Winner for Best Sound Editing (which is to say shut-the-hell-out), American Sniper is down to number six, followed by its polar opposite, Hot Tub Time Machine 2 opening at number seven and how did this happen? The first one wasn’t any good! Now they’ve made an even worse one, so bad that even John Cusack wouldn’t come back for it. And if you think Cusack is some kind of actor with integrity, check out his IMDB page and get back to me. He didn’t need an Oscar to whore it up.

AT LEAST SOMEONE’S ASCENDING
Jupiter Ascending is down to number eight and now has an Oscar winning actor in its cast: Eddie Redmayne. Too little, too late. Now the big question: will he continue with indie style roles or will he…WHORE IT UP!?!

CONTRARY TO ACTOR BELIEF, THEY DON’T MAKE UP THE WORDS
Oscar winner for Best Adapted Screenplay, The Imitation Game, is down to number nine with Paddington closing out the top ten at number ten.

 

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