STILL THE KING!

19 May

don-johnson

1. Godzilla/Warner                                                 Wknd/$ 93.2     Total/$ 93.2
2. Neighbors/Universal                                         Wknd/$ 26.0     Total/$ 91.5
3. The Amazing Spider-Man 2/Sony                  Wknd/$ 16.8      Total/$ 172.2
4. Million Dollar Arm/Disney                              Wknd/$ 10.5      Total/$ 10.5
5. The Other Woman/Fox                                     Wknd/$ 6.3        Total/$ 71.7
6. Heaven is for Real/TriStar                               Wknd/$ 4.4        Total/$ 82.2
7. Rio 2/Fox                                                              Wknd/$ 3.8       Total/$ 118.1
8. Captain America: The Winter Soldier            Wknd/$ 3.8        Total/$ 250.7
9. Legends of Oz: Dorothy’s Return                    Wknd/$ 2.0        Total/$ 6.6
10. Moms’ Night Out/TriS                                    Wknd/$ 1.9         Total/$ 7.3

GODZILLA VERSUS…THE PREVIOUS VERSION OF GODZILLA
Godzilla opens not all that unexpectedly at number one. I mean, partner a classic movie character (he is too!) with a currently hot respected actor (as opposed to say, Zac Efron) and you’ve got a movie that will bring in not just your regular genre fans some people who might have otherwise given this a pass. I can’t imagine how they felt when they realized he was only going to be in the movie for 15 minutes. Too bad! We already got your money, suckers! So honestly, most of the movie has to carried by that kid from Kick Ass. No, I’m not kidding. He plays Bryan Cranston’s son, who just happens to be a Naval officer who dismantles nuclear bombs (mom and dad worked at Japanese nuclear plant). Gee, think that might come in handy before the end of this film? Most people can’t help but use this as a tool to beat up the other Godzilla film from Hollywood, as if every Japanese film of a man in a rubber suit was some kind of work of art (why they stick to the suit and ignore CGI is something only the Japanese understand). It was just bad in a different way than most of them usually were. It’s also a guilty pleasure of mine. And honestly, this one repeats the same mistake of that one: waiting too long to show Godzilla then showing him mostly at night. At least this time there are two other monsters to fight (not Mothra, but his nasty cousin), but they still manage got give him less screen time than the Sony version. Yes, the human element does matter, but I really didn’t need so much time watching Kick Ass, his wife (the Olsen who’s not a twin) and their struggle to get back together (their home is in San Francisco which just so happens to be where all the monsters have decided to fight). It’s called Godzilla, not “A Family Reunites While Monsters Fight.” If fact, I needed it as about as much as we needed Matthew Broderick’s reporter girlfriend. And even she eventually played a role in doing something to stop the monsters in the end. Non Olsen Twin doesn’t even get to do that, though she’s nurse. At least have her save some people to warrant this screen time. But we do get Godzilla’s radioactive breath back. So there’s that.

PEOPLE WANT TO DISLIKE YOU. LET THEM.
Neighbors is down to number two and you know who needed this more than Seth Rogen? Zac Efron. Since graduating from the Disney Academy he’s been floundering in his attempts to be taken seriously to the point no one seems to realize that his previous film, That Awkward Moment, actually made a little money. The reality of previous failures, altered the perception of an actual success. But now not only has he gotten a hit, but he’s about to join the Marvel Comics money-making machine. Somewhere Vanessa Hudgens is pissed, having played a series of supposedly “image breaking” roles of bad girls. Next time, honey, do it for laughs. That’s the key. Here he plays a jerk pretty boy for laughs. Next time you play a funny hooker-stripper-runaway-slut.

WAIT? THE ACTOR’S NAME IS WHAT?
The Amazing Spider-Man 2 is down to number three and is it just me or does this Dane DeHaan kid who plays Harry Osborn look like a younger, even more demented Leonardo DiCaprio. See, models? You don’t have to bang someone as old as your dad any more.

SPOILER ALERT. BUT NOT REALLY.
Million Dollar Arm opens at number four and while I don’t know much about baseball, I know there’s no one named Kinesh or Ghupta playing for the Yankees so how inspiring a true story can this be? Who wants to see a movie where the unlikely underdogs don’t win it all in the end?

DADDY VICE
The Other Woman is down to number five and Don Johnson shows up in this as Cameron Diaz’s father who starts dating Kate Upton. While I do loves me some Don Johnson and am enjoying this second half of his career where he’s playing dads (Kristen Bell’s dad, Jason Sudeikis’ dad, Danny McBride’s dad) this isn’t so much funny as fucking creepy, yet men seem to like to doing it. The “joke” at the end of No Strings Attached was that Lake Bell wound up dating Ashton Kutcher’s dad. Wasn’t funny then either.

BUT CAPTAIN AMERICA WILL NEVER DIE (HE CONTRACTED FOR SIX FILMS)
Heaven Is Real is down to number six, followed by Rio 2 at number seven and Captain America: The Winter Soldier drops to number eight and I wonder if they’re going to cough up a little more ad money to have it go out with a bang on Memorial Day weekend? Because you can see this big drop coincided with the release of Godzilla. They share the same audience and that audience will be seeing X-Men next weekend so it’s all over but the shouting. But it was a damn good run. If you told me it would do this well—$700M from a $170M budget—I’d have called it a little overly optimistic, but as a man who bought two Captain America t-shirts last week (almost three), I’m happy to see my guy do well.

WHAT’S THE OPPOSITE OF FEELING GLEEFUL?
Know who’s not doing well? Lea Michele. She’s the voice of Dorothy in Legends of Oz: Dorothy’s Return, which is down to number nine and heard anything from the album she released? Did you know she’s got a book coming out too? Exactly.

THE END
Finally, Mom’s Night Out closes out the top ten at number ten.

VISIT:

THE ORIGINAL ANGRYGEEK.COM

FORMERBOYWONDERPHOTO.COM

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