I STILL DON’T CARE

24 Nov

nia-long-naked-peta

1. The Hunger Games 2/LGF                   Wknd/$ 161.1            Total/$ 161.1

 2. Thor: The Dark World/BV                  Wknd/$  14.1            Total/$ 167.8

 3. The Best Man Holiday/Universal      Wknd/$  12.5            Total/$  50.4

 4. Delivery Man/BV                                   Wknd/$    8.2            Total/$     8.2

 5. Free Birds/Relativity                             Wknd/$    5.3            Total/$  48.6

 6. Last Vegas/CBS                                       Wknd/$    4.4            Total/$  53.9

 7. Bad Grandpa/Paramount                      Wknd/$    3.5            Total/$  95.5

 8. Gravity/Warners                                     Wknd/$    3.3            Total/$ 245.5

 9. 12 Years A Slave                                       Wknd/$    2.8            Total/$   29.4

10. Dallas Buyers Club/Focus                    Wknd/$    2.8            Total/$    6.5

 

THE RUNNING GIRL

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire opens at number one breaking a record and like Twilight before it and Harry Potter before that this is something that has gone right past me. Know why? BECAUSE I’M AN ADULT AND I DON’T READ CHILDREN’S BOOKS  THAT’S WHY! Well, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Just don’t ask me what adult books I’m reading. And honestly, I just have a problem where children are forced to fight children to the death.  Somewhere down the line I’ve just gotten squeamish about certain things and watching children die onscreen is one of them. Yes, I know. This time around it’s full-grown adults fighting (which is one of the oldest tropes in and out of science fiction), but I still can’t get with it.  The taint remains.

 

TWO SMART GIRLS

Thor: The Dark World drops to number two and if you’re saving that episode of Agents of SHIELD to watch until you see this, don’t bother. It has almost nothing to do with the movie.  Seriously.  It’s just a carrot to draw you into that incredibly lackluster series.  Speaking of lackluster series, how happy is Kat Dennings for these movies?  Every two years she’s gets to be in a blockbuster film and this time around actually joins Tom Hiddleston in “Steal The Movie” club which should bump her up in a way Two Broke Girls never could. As Hiddleston stole Thor from Thor, Darcy steals the movie from Natalie Portman’s Jane Foster, Thor’s mortal love interest. She’s clearly the more interesting of the two and between her and overlooking Sif, Thor’s taste in women is seriously in question.

 

ANOTHER BRIDESMAID

The Best Man Holiday is down to number three and with the entire original cast returning also in this is Nia Long who, quite honestly, was Kerry Washington before Kerry Washington as the potential heir to Halle Berry’s throne (as we know, Hollywood and only have one A-list minority lead at a time).  The difference being Kerry Washington had the A-list films (Ray, Django Unchained) and now hit TV series (Scandal), whereas Nia Long peaked in Big Momma’s House and Third Watch.  Ouch.

 

MONEY NO MORE

The Delivery Man opens at number four (the lower budget makes this not as bad as you think) and this is a remake of a French film that just came out last year and even I was shocked at how quickly Hollywood remade it.  It’s a cute enough premise, but they should have found a different leading man, because Vince Vaughn and his motormouth routine gets old fast.  In fact it’s been old for a long time now and this is coming from someone who was a huge fan after Swingers and followed his indie career in things like Clay Pigeons, Return to Paradise and yes, even the shot-for-shot remake of Psycho so my bitterness is earned, baby.  Someone a little more charming and little less annoying would have served this film well.  And better looking. Seriously. It matters.

 

THE TURKEY YOU’RE HAPPY TO KILL

Speaking of annoying onscreen motormouths, Owen Wilson is one of the voices in Free Birds, down to number five and the only thing worse than Owen Wilson is just his voice, I don’t care what cute animal you put up there onscreen.

 

BAD GRANDMA?

Last Vegas is down to number six, followed by Jackass Presents Bad Grandpa at number seven and given how well this has done prepare yourself for an onslaught of low budget prankster films. Okay, maybe not an onslaught, but there will definitely be more of them coming.

 

TRAUMATIC ISN’T THE WORD FOR IT

Gravity is down to number eight, followed by 12 Years a Slave down to number nine and some people have issues with seeing their favorite stars as evil slave owners. I don’t want to hear it. Roots had everyone in Hollywood owning slaves and you don’t know from difficult until you’ve seen Mr. Brady own slaves or Sandy Duncan toss around the “n-word.”

 

THE MANY FACES OF MATTHEW

Finally entering the top ten at ten is more Oscar bait in the form of Dallas Buyer’s Club, continuing the Matthew McConaughey renaissance.  Apparently somewhere down the line he tired of merely being a parody of himself and decided to be a more serious version of himself, because lets face it: he’s always playing Matthew McConaughey. He’s not Daniel Day Lewis and can disappear into any role.  He can only be a more somber McConaughey (like in the surprise hit, Mud), a more straight-laced McConaughey (The Lincoln Lawyer and Bernie) a more psychotic McConaughey (Killer Joe) or a more sleazy McConaughey (Magic Mike, which I honestly thought he deserved a Best Supporting nomination for). But it’s always McConaughey.

Visit angrygeek.com

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: