OF COURSE A BUTLER WINS LABOR DAY WEEKEND

2 Sep

lily-collins

 1. Lee Daniel’s The Butler/Weinstein      Wknd/$  20.0            Total/$  79.3

 2. One Direction This Is Us/Sony             Wknd/$  18.0            Total/$  18.0

 3. We’re The Millers/Warners                   Wknd/$  15.9            Total/$ 112.9

 4. Planes/Disney                                          Wknd/$  10.7            Total/$  73.8

 5. Elysium/TriStar                                       Wknd/$    8.3            Total/$  80.4

 6. Mortal Instruments: COB/SG               Wknd/$    6.8            Total/$  24.3

 7. The World’s End/Focus                          Wknd/$    6.1            Total/$  17.9

 8. Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters            Wknd/$    6.1            Total/$  56.6

 9. Getaway/Warners                                    Wknd/$    5.5            Total/$    5.5

10. Blue Jasmine/SPC                                   Wknd/$    5.3            Total/$   21.8

 

I STILL SAY ALFRED SHOULD GET HIS OWN MOVIE

It’s somehow fitting that The Butler should prevail on Labor Day weekend, holding onto the number one slot and apparently Ronald Regan’s son, Michael, is upset that his father was depicted as slightly racist. He then points out that the movie—which was based on the life of a real butler—was fictionalized. Um, doesn’t that only make you seem like more of a dumbass for complaining that a fictionalized depiction was indeed fiction? He probably complains when his coffee is hot. Guess what?  ALL Hollywood bio-pics are fictionalized with made up characters and situations.  And coffee is traditionally served hot.

 

35, TICKETS TO ONE DIRECTION, BUT NO KIDS? YOU’RE UNDER ARREST.

One Direction: This Is Us opens at number two though without the extra day would have been the number one film. You know you’re old when you have no idea who the new teen idols are.  I didn’t know anything about The Jonas Brothers or Justin Bieber who pushed them out or these guys who pushed Justin Bieber out. The downside to having no kids is you know nothing about youth culture once you stop officially being part of it.  If you do it means you’re either in the business of it or some guy on an FBI watch list so I’m not going to feel to badly about my ignorance. Now get off my lawn.

 

FALLING FARTHER FROM SOME PARTS OF THE TREE THAN OTHERS

We’re The Millers is down to number three and also in this is Emma Roberts, daughter of Eric, making her the niece of you-know-who and I generally like her as an actress having more of her father’s edge and none of her aunt’s annoyingly vapid presence that seemingly everyone but me loved.  It’s why she usually winds up in roles where she’ll be “the girl” but never too nice or sweet. For example, her character here is that of a streetwise runaway. One day maybe she’ll be in a movie I’ll actually want to see.

 

THE 80’S WERE A LONG TIME AGO

Planes holds at number four and lets see who in the cast list was looking for an easy paycheck.  Well obvious is Dane Cook, then Stacey Keach, Brad Garrett, Teri Hatcher, Julia Louis-Dryfus, John Cleese, Cedric The Entertainer, Sinbad—wait. Sinbad? Am I the only one who though he was dead? Guess that was just his career.

 

FLASH GORDON MUST FIGHT MING! IT’S A RULE!

Elysium is down to number five and also in this is Jodie Foster, supposedly the films “bad guy” except that at no time are she and Matt Damon in direct opposition to one another and never actually meet, which is a huge mistake given they are your two big stars. But Jodie doesn’t have the best of luck with science fiction. Contact still haunts us all.

 

I CAN FEEL HER CAREER SLIPPING AWAY IN THE AIR TONIGHT/OH LORD

The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones is down to number six and the star of this is Lily Collins as in daughter-of-Phil and this is her second big misfire, having been in the Snow White flop last year with Julia Roberts. In a perfect world she would have been in Snow White & The Huntsman because while it makes sense that Julia Roberts would be threatened by the beauty of Lily Collins, it made zero sense that Kristen Stewart was a threat to Charlize Theron. That’s how you knew it was a fantasy film.

 

STILL PRETTY GOOD FOR THE SLACKER POSTER BOY

The World’s End is down to number seven followed by Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters at number eight and opening at number nine is Getaway, preventing Ethan Hawke from having a summer hat trick of films. He’s had success in indie drama with Before Midnight and in genre horror with The Purge.  An action film would have sealed the deal on his career resurgence, but alas, ‘twas not to be. I was minorly interested, as a low-budget fast car movie looks like nothing but fun, but then I saw the words “Selena Gomez” and that blatant to boost its audience betrayed an utter lack of confidence in itself.

 

THIS IS THE CAREER YOU WANT, KIDS

Finally, Blue Jasmine closes out the top ten at number ten and speaking of career resurgence, Woody Allen’s last few films have been openly turning a significant profit since Match Point in ’05.  They have consistently made 4 and 5 times their budgets, which is impressive to begin with, but even moreso when you realize they never spend a lot of marketing.  This looks to be joining them as only the top three films made more money per theater than Blue Jasmine.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: