I WISH I WERE HOME WATCHING WIZARD OF OZ

10 Mar

1. Oz The Great & Powerful/ Disney    Wknd/$80.3M           Total/$80.3

2. Jack the Giant Slayer/Warners        Wknd/$10.0               Total$43.8

3. Identity Thief/Universal                     Wknd/$6.3                 Total/$116.5

4. Dead Man Down/FD                              Wknd/$5.4                  Total/$5.4

5. Snitch/LGF                                               Wknd/$5.1                  Total/$31.9

6. 21 & Over/Relativity                            Wknd/$5.1                  Total/$16.8

7. Saven Haven/Relativity                     Wknd/$3.8                  Total/$62.9

8. Silver Linings Playbook/Wein          Wknd/$3.7                  Total/$120.7

9. Escape From Planet Earth/Wein     Wknd/$3.2                  Total/$47.8

10. Last Exorcism Pt. II                           Wknd/$3.1                  Total/$12.1

 

I’D RATHER SEE UNDER THE RAINBOW AGAIN

Oz The Great & Powerful opens big at number one which is pretty sad given it’s not that good a movie and will undoubtedly lead more equally inferior sequel prequels.  Like most prequels it makes the basic mistake of feeling the need to answer a question that no one even asked like, ‘What was Anakin Skywalker’s childhood like?” or “Who was Bobba Fett’s dad?” or “How was C3PO made?”  Yes, Godfather II told the origins of The Coreleones but it wasn’t the sole point of the film and they didn’t make a point of explaining exactly why Fat Clemenza so loved cannoli.  It also doesn’t help that this film exists in the shadow of highly successful prequel, Wicked, because in addition to telling the origin of The Wizard it also ties it in with the origin of the Wicked Witch. In turn it is as shallow as Wicked is dark (in Wicked the Wizard is likewise a con man from earth, but drugs and rapes the Witch’s slutty mother making The Witch actually his daughter and the drug he used is what makes her green). James Franco is only engaging as Oz (short for Oscar) when can play him as a lothario con man.  When he has to play up the “deep down a good man” angle he looks as bored as we are as he follows the prophecy that he has to come to Oz and save it. Given that Frank Baum, the creator of the Oz books was a staunch feminist he must be rolling in his grave over this idea.  It makes even less sense when you see how powerful all the witches are, while he just relies on tricks.  Mila Kunis is the witch who starts off as good, but fighting a horrible inner rage that gives her tears of flame.  When Oz breaks her heart she’s easy prey for her already unrepentantly wicked sister (Rachel Weisz, who thinks she’s in a better movie) who gives her a green apple (get it?) that completes her journey to the dark side, which in this case means a really poor impression of the original Wicked Witch, Margaret Hamilton for the last half of the movie and the revelation that Mila Kunis simply isn’t that good an actress.  Okay, maybe not so much a revelation as reinforcement.

 

ABOUT A PRETTY BOY

Jack the Giant Slayer is down to number two and I’m still trying to get a handle over the fact that Jack is the boy from About A Boy and clearly he was sucking away Hugh Grant’s good looks every day on-set as he’s turned out quite nicely, while Hugh has…well, let’s just say he’s aging about as well as the English do.

 

TRULY THE LUCK OF IRISH…WHICH ISN’T THAT GREAT WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT

Identity Thief is down to number three, followed by Dead Man Down opening at number four and Colin Farrell is simply not an actor you can keep down or build up for that matter. After failing to be “The Next Big Thing” (thanks for nothing, Vanity Fair Cover Curse) and spiraling out of control as a party boy he hit his 30’s (where the price for partying is much, much steeper so you have to let it go or die), started having kids and retreated to some more substantial supporting roles in smaller films (Crazy Heart, In Bruges) to some degree of success.  So now he’s back to being given the lead in bigger releases…only to see them once again disappoint both good (Fright Night) and bad (Total Recall). This unfortunately seemingly continues that trend.  The problem with the ads is that it couldn’t seem to decide if it were an action revenge movie or a film noir-ish drama about revenge.  Both are interesting in their own right (especially the latter), but the seeming inability to decide was ultimately off-putting for fans of either.  Looks good for Netflix one day, but apparently not for getting me or anyone else off their butts on the weekend.

 

BUT HE PLAYED ROGER MARIS!

Snitch is down to number five and remember Barry Pepper who was hot (no pun intended) for about five seconds after Saving Private Ryan?  Well he’s in this. Yeah, I didn’t care either.

 

DEATH TO BAD AMERICAN FILMMAKING

21 & Over is down to number six while Safe Haven holds at number seven and there’s no overseas information on this making me think they knew the world didn’t need another reason to hate America and kept his solely on US soil.

 

THE “FETCH” OF MOVIES

Silver Linings Playbook holds on at number eight and will you people stop trying to get me to watch this!?! It’s just not going happen!

THE REST… 

Escape From Planet Earth is down to number nine with The Last Exorcism Pt II closing out the top ten at number ten.

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