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9 Dec

cold

1. Skyfall/Sony                                                Wknd/$  10.5            Total/$  261.6

2. Rise of the Guardians/PDW                    Wknd/$  10.5            Total/$   61.9

3. Twilight: Breaking Dawn 2                      Wknd/$    9.2            Total/$  268.7

4. Lincoln/Touchstone                                  Wknd/$    9.1            Total/$   97.3

5. Life of Pi/Fox                                              Wknd/$    8.3            Total/$   60.9

6. Playing For Keeps/FD                              Wknd/$    6.0            Total/$    6.0

7. Wreck-It-Ralph/Disney                            Wknd/$    4.9            Total/$  164.4

8. Red Dawn/FD                                             Wknd/$    4.3            Total/$   37.3

9. Flight/Paramount                                       Wknd/$    3.1            Total/$   86.2

10. Killing Them Softly/Weinstein               Wknd/$    2.7            Total/$   11.8

THINK THEY’LL MAKE MORE?

Skyfall actually rises to number one and for the life of me I cannot imagine why.  It’s a mess of plot holes, inconsistent characterization and a return to blatant misogyny.  Then again, maybe that’s exactly the reason why.  And believe it or not, unadjusted for inflation, it’s now the number one Bond film of all time ($918M) with Quantum of Solace at number two and Casino Royale at number three. Adjusted for inflation it’s still number four behind Thunderball, Goldfinger and You Only Live Twice. Thunderball and Goldfinger are almost double its take, but You Only Live Twice is in jeopardy.

EXPECT THE EXPECTED!

Rise of the Guardians is up to number two which isn’t unexpected as the holidays draw nearer.  Also not unexpected is Twilight Breaking Dawn Pt. 2 finally beginning to drop as this franchise (hopefully) breathes its last.

HEY, IT’S THAT GUY, PT 8!

Lincoln holds at number four and continuing the character actor rundown is one of the lords of supporting character actors, Hal Holbrook, who instantly lends weight and gravitas to almost any movie in which he appears, usually playing some kind elder statesman role even when he’s a bad guy. This is no different.  But almost every actor in this gets a chance to shine. It’s going to be a nightmare at awards time choosing which one to submit for a nomination.

EVERYBODY’S NOT GONNA MAKE IT, SO USE IT HOOK UP WITH HOT PEOPLE

Life of Pi holds at number five, followed by Playing for Keeps opening at number six and this is pretty much a “twofer” of the wasted heat of Gerard Butler and Jessica Biel.  Gerard Butler, who was once the “doomed best friend” to Christian Bale in Reign of Fire and one of Angelina Jolie’s former lovers in the Lara Croft films (the other was Daniel Craig to let you know the other side of the coin) rose seemingly overnight to leading man status thanks to 300. Since then, however, it’s been one bad movie after the other, mainly because rather than do the smart thing and become an action star, he decided to “broaden” and do stupid, painfully generic romcoms like this. Probably because someone said he’d appeal to women more. Newsflash: women liked him plenty already and it had nothing to do with being funny…or wearing clothes  Don’t worry. Christian Bale is still a big star so you can always be his doomed best friend.  Now Jessica Biel was for a brief moment the white hot “girl of the moment” on every magazine cover and being paired with a bunch of older actors (always the sign of a rising female star) based on…I’m not so sure what it’s based on, because I’m sure being a white girl with an amazing ass does that.  If it did, Stacey Keibler wouldn’t need George Clooney.  No, her heat was like so many others: she just seemed poised to be a star so people acted like she was one, though her big breakthrough movies (Blade: Trinity, Stealth, Easy Virtue, Next) all tanked and the ones that succeeded (those horrible holiday movies like Valentine’s Day and New Year’s Eve) had nothing to do with her. Like Butler, She also needed this to be considered viable. Good thing she married well.

IF HE’S NOT EVIL WHY ARE HIS EYES LIKE THAT?

Wreck It Ralph is down to number six, followed by Red Dawn at number eight and I pity poor Will Yun Lee seemingly doomed now to be the “evil Asian” in movies.  This is the third film I can think of (Elektra, Die Another Day) and the second where he’s an evil North Korean (the first was Die Another Day).  Next up: the bad guy to fight Hugh Jackman in the Wolverine sequel.  Oh, well. Car payments don’t care how they’re paid.

WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU THINK CAPTAIN SAVE-A-HO USES TO SAVE THEM?

Flight holds at number nine and also in this is Kelly Reilly, who is best known as Mrs. Watson from the two recent Sherlock Holmes films with Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law.  And could she be any more Irish? A redhead named Kelly Reilly?  She might as well be named Erin Go Braless.  She represents another trend in movies with Denzel Washington: white women he saves, usually with his penis, but not always.  There’s Mila Jovovich in He Got Game who stops being a hooker after sleeping with him; his sex scene with Rahada Mitchell in Man on Fire was cut, but he does save her daughter played by Dakota Fanning; he saves Mila Kunis in Book of Eli without his penis and now Kelly Reilly is a junkie he meets in the hospital whom he saves from a evil landlord and she moves in with him. She manages to pull herself together thanks in part to this but he continues to descend, so does that count as a penis save?

DIRT IS ONE THING; DIRTY AND SHIRTLESS IS ANOTHER

Finally, Killing Them Softly is softly killed itself by audience indifference to seeing Brad Pitt going sleazy and closes out the top ten at ten.  Oh, they’ll flock to a piece of crap like Benjamin Button where he eventually becomes pretty, but not this.  Maybe if he’d taken his shirt off like he did in Snatch.

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